Wendy Wasserstein’s play, Isn’t It Romantic, was presented by Playwrights Horizons on December 15, 1983 (76). The play was originally commissioned by The Phoenix Theatre in 1979, with an early performance of the show on May 28, 1981 (75). Isn’t It Romantic focuses on twenty-eight year old Janie Blumberg, a freelance writer in search for a full-time job, and her long-time friend Harriet Cornwall, who received her MBA at Harvard and works at McKinsey. The play follows Janie’s relationship with a Jewish doctor named Marty, and Harriet’s affair with her boss’s boss, Paul. Both Janie and Harriet spend the play trying to navigate their relationships, establish their own identities, maintain a successful career, and distance themselves from their parents and how they think they should live their lives.
One of Wasserstein’s many talents is how realistically she writes relationships between men and women. She writes truthfully and really captures women’s feelings, as well as provides an accurate depiction of men who may not be “bad” men, but who are certainly not “good” men. The issue of the man who is “not as bad as other men” is best demonstrated through Janie’s boyfriend, Marty. This piece will focus on Janie and her relationship with Marty, and how the notion that a woman needs a man to be happy affects her.
Do Not Be Fooled by Marty
Marty is a Jewish doctor, hailing from wealth as his father is the owner of a national restaurant chain (83). As Wasserstein describes him, he is “Janie’s mother’s dream come true” (82). Marty himself tells Janie that “women want to marry their daughters off to me all the time” (138).
The reason I am focusing on Marty and not Paul (the man Harriet is having an affair with) is because Marty pretends to be a good man, while Paul is not a good man and does not pretend to be one. From the very beginning, we know Paul is bad because he is cheating on his wife and is Harriet’s boss’s boss. He even says to Harriet: “You’ll try to change me, you’ll realize you can’t and, furthermore, I’m not worth it…” (101).
While Paul does not pretend to be a good man, Marty tricks us and Janie into thinking he is good because he is not “as bad” as other men. Marty even critiques Paul, telling Harriet: “…he’s the least gracious man I ever met. In fact, he’s a real douche” (128). In this moment, Marty is trying to separate himself from other men. He is trying to show how other men are worse than him and women should therefore be grateful to be with him. Marty is a man masquerading as a feminist. He acts as though he is for women and yet he demeans women. While Paul is an obvious creep, I would like to label Marty as a “sneaky creep.”
Janie and Harriet run into Marty at the beginning of the play. Marty recognizes Harriet from when they went to college together. One of the first things he says to Harriet is: “I always thought you were a beautiful girl” (83). This comment could be seen as a compliment but automatically reduces Harriet to just her looks and not the intelligent woman she is. When Harriet introduces Janie to Marty, Marty says:
“Sure. I remember you. I saw you and Harriet together in Cambridge all the time. You always looked more attainable. Frightened to death, but attainable. I’m not attracted to cold people anymore. Who needs that kind of trouble?” (83).
This statement is incredibly insulting towards Janie. By calling her “attainable,” Marty is saying that she is not attractive like Harriet. He is saying that Janie’s appearance makes her an “easier” woman “to get.” By saying she looked “frightened to death” is also demeaning and judgmental.
Marty’s first words to Janie should have been an immediate red flag. However, after Marty leaves, Janie says to Harriet: “Well, if you don’t marry Marty Sterling, I’ll marry him” (85). She is immediately enticed by Marty.
At the beginning of the dating process, Marty tells Janie that Harriet is not sweet like her. He also says: “Janie, you’re one of the few real people I’ve ever met in a long time. Most of the women I meet aren’t funny” (98). Within this dialogue, Marty compares Harriet and Janie, and then gives what he thinks is a compliment, when he is really saying the age-old line that Janie is “different from other girls,” which is sexist and pits women against one another. Janie is a smart woman and she knows his words are sexist, responding: “Marty, I think I should tell you I find the fact that you don’t like women doctors extremely disturbing and discriminatory…” (98). Despite this, Janie tells Marty that she wants him to like her very much (98).
After she reveals this, Marty asks her if she does like him. When she tells him that she does, he says: “Sounds tentative. Most women fall in love the minute they hear Volare” (98). In this statement, Marty does not say he likes Janie, and is instead saying that she should like him. Marty will continue to allude to this in order to make sure Janie stays with him.
Due to the continuous red flags, the question of why Janie would want to be with Marty arises. The answer, unfortunately, is evident through Janie’s next statement to Marty:
“…I have very fat thighs, and I want very badly to be someone else without going through the effort of actually changing myself into someone else. I have very little courage, but I’m highly critical of others who don’t” (98).
Janie is insecure about herself and her appearance, and therefore feels good about the attention she is getting from Marty, a successful and wealthy Jewish doctor. Since she is not confident in her own skin, she clings to a man who gives her attention, ignoring his flaws. Janie says to Harriet: “He’s very sweet. Sometimes I look at Marty and think he’s such a nice young man, I must be a very nice young girl” (124). The issue with this is not only is Marty not a “nice young man,” but Janie is also looking at her worth in relation to him. Her lack of confidence is further demonstrated when talking to Harriet: “And at first I thought, Janie Jill Blumberg, you’ve been accepted; not even on the waiting list” (124). Janie is feeling for perhaps the first time that she is a man’s first choice, and she is led to believe she is by Marty.
However, Janie seems more like a convenience to Marty. Before telling Janie he wants to move in with her, he says: “Monkey [his nickname for her], I don’t want to be alone. But I think it’s going to be all right with us. I love you” (109). This statement is not in any way romantic. Marty is saying that he only wants to be with Janie because he does not want to be alone, and as demonstrated before, he has found Janie to be an “attainable” partner. Marty believes that by telling Janie he loves her will convince her to be with him, but his love is already disproven by his statement about not wanting to be alone.
Marty utilizes Janie’s insecurities to his own advantage. He knows how to manipulate her into thinking that she could not do better than him because of where she is in her life. Further into their relationship, Marty informs Janie that he has put a deposit down on an apartment for them. She is surprised by the news, as they had not talked about living together. Marty’s decision is presumptuous, concluding that Janie would obviously want to live with him. He tells her:
“Janie, you’re twenty-eight years old. What I’m saying is, either you want to be with me – you don’t have to; you should just want to – or, if you don’t want to, then we should just forget it” (110).
He is playing to many people’s insecurity and worry about never finding someone and dying alone. Unlike single men, a single woman of a certain age is seen as “depressing,” as if the woman is not complete because she does not have a partner. When Marty emphasizes Janie’s age, he is saying that she is not getting any younger and should therefore settle for him because he is offering to be with her. He says: “I’m offering you love, I’m offering you affection, I’m offering you attention” (137). He feels that this is enough, and since society tells women they need to find a man, Janie is led to believe that this should be enough for her.
Janie though knows that Marty is not the right man for her and that she should not settle. When talking with Harriet about possibly marrying Marty, Janie recounts driving home with him:
“…I thought, It’s settled, fine, thank God…I was fantasizing if we’d make the Sunday Times wedding announcements…And it was just as we were approaching Syosset that I thought, I can’t breathe in this car, and I promised myself that in a month from now I would not be traveling home from the Island in this car with Marty. And as soon as I thought this, and honestly almost pushed open the car door, I found myself kissing his hand and saying, “Marty, I love you.” I don’t know” (124).
This moment demonstrates that Janie knows her relationship with Marty is not a healthy one. She knows that she should not be with him, as she is not even sure if she loves him. She also knows he does not really respect her, as his nickname of “Monkey” is demeaning and he never asked her if he could call her that. Marty has also always made decisions for her, like putting a deposit down on an apartment, thinking he knows what is best for her. Janie does not like having her life dictated by Marty; but as evident by the last sentence from the above quote, Janie’s insecurities and fear of being alone override her concerns and convince her to stay with Marty.
During her conversation with Harriet, Harriet tells Janie that “there’s nothing wrong with being alone. We can wait till it’s right” (125). Though this is true and Janie knows she should not settle, there are multiple forces influencing her decision to stay with Marty – Marty, her parents, society, and herself. Even Harriet thinks Marty is a very sweet man, saying: “But Janie, how could you sleep next to a man as nice as Marty and lie to him and say I love you?” (125). Marty has fooled everyone into thinking he is the perfect man.
Though at the root of it Wasserstein is saying that Marty is not a good man, there is some dialogue that contradicts this. When Marty accuses Janie of thinking he is not special enough, she tells him that she thinks he is very special. Janie also says: “You’re just like me. We’re too fucking sweet. I’m so sweet I never say what I want, and you’re so sweet you always get what you want” (138). These statements could be chalked up to Janie having an idealized vision of Marty, which happens often in relationships. Even though Janie thinks he is special, she still knows he is not good for her.
By the end of the play, Janie ends her relationship with Marty. As Marty argues with her, one of his last-ditch efforts to keep her is when he says: “…but I want something special too. Just a little. Maybe not as special as you turned out to be, but just a little” (138). He is preying on her insecurity that she is not special (and therefore has limited options in men) in order to keep her. He tells Janie at the beginning of the play that he wants her to give him a great deal of attention; thus, he does not want to lose Janie because she provides him with the attention he needs. She has also idolized him and he does not want to lose that feeling of power. The man who plays with a woman’s emotions and strings her along because she idolizes him, making him feel good, is perfectly demonstrated through Marty.
Janie does not fold to Marty’s words and instead realizes her worth and tells him: “Marty, you’re not right for me. I can’t move in with you now. If I did that, I’d always be a monkey, a sweet little girl” (138-139). Janie does not want to settle for Marty despite what everyone else thinks. When Janie reveals that she broke up with Marty, she starts crying. Harriet asks:
Harriet: “Won't you miss him?” (145).
Janie: “I missed him today when I saw someone who looks sweet like him walking down the street, and I’ll miss him late tonight” (145). Harriet: “Maybe you should call him” (145). Janie: “No” (145).
Harriet: “Life is a negotiation” (145).
Janie: “I don’t believe I have to believe that” (146).
Janie is fighting back against society, her parents, Harriet, Marty, and herself, to come to the decision that her relationship with Marty needs to end. She realizes that she should not have to settle just so she will not be alone. When Harriet says Janie is just frightened of being with someone and making a choice that she has to take responsibility for, Janie responds: “That sounds romantic” (145). Janie wants romance and not a relationship of convenience. Janie comes to the conclusion that many people need to realize.
When her mother asks who will take care of her, Janie says: “I guess I will” (151). Janie is straying from the notion that a woman needs a man in order to have a complete life. Janie recognizes that settling for a man is not romantic, and what is instead romantic is loving yourself. The first act of the play ends with Marty and Janie kissing, as the song, “Isn’t It Romantic,” plays. The use of this song at the end of Act One is ironic, as their relationship is not romantic. At the end of the play, “Isn’t It Romantic” plays as Janie happily dances by herself. The use of this song for this scene shows that Janie’s decision not to be with Marty is actually the romantic one, as she is choosing to love herself by not settling for a man who is not right for her. The play therefore ends with the important message of loving yourself first.
I highly suggest reading Wasserstein’s Isn’t It Romantic because of its accurate portrayal of relationships and insecurities. I suggest that men read it in order to evaluate their own behaviors and treatment of women.
February 14, 2019
Images
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1997/04/14/the-time-of-her-life
https://www.tampabay.com/things-to-do/stage/wendy-wassersteins-heidi-chronicles-opens-at-asolo-repertory-theatre/1269472
https://www.playwrightshorizons.org/shows/plays/heidi-chronicles/
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