Emma Woodhouse from Jane Austen’s Emma and Mr. Darcy from Austen’s Pride and Prejudice are similar characters, and yet why do we dislike one and want to marry the other? Why is Emma a snob and a meddler while Darcy is a romantic? In regards to the character of Emma, Jane Austen said: “I am going to take a heroine whom no one but myself will much like”. Austen understood that Emma would not be perceived well by the masses, and if Darcy is similar to Emma, why do we love him? The answer lies in a double standard. We hold women accountable and to a higher standard than men.
Emma is personally my favorite Austen book and I enjoy the flawed character of Emma. Emma is disliked by readers for being snobby, a meddler, proud, rude, annoying, etc. Is Emma a perfect character? No. Is she as kind as Anne Elliot from Austen’s Persuasion? No. Is she a realistic character? Yes. Emma is flawed and makes mistakes, just as we all do. The important thing is that she ends up recognizing them and grows in the end.
I know what I am about to say goes against what many people believe, but personally, I do not like the character of Mr. Darcy. Though he has some good points, I cannot get past his rudeness towards others, particularly his mean comment about Elizabeth Bennet’s appearance. As soon as he insults her, I was instantly turned off by him. I can understand the attraction towards him – his brooding nature, his devotion to his sister, the love/hate relationship between him and Elizabeth, and protecting Elizabeth’s family from scandal – but when it comes down to it, I do not think Darcy would be a suitable partner in real life. We need to hold him accountable.
Before I delve more into Mr. Darcy, let us first look at the similarities between Emma and Darcy.
Similarities
Prejudice
Both characters are prejudiced, with a focus on wealth and ranking. Emma disapproves of Robert Martin because he is a farmer and she looks down upon the Coles because they earned their fortune through trade. However, Emma grows throughout the book, regretting her prejudices against Jane Fairfax and Miss Bates, ending with sincere interest in their well-being and happiness.
Emma keeps company with the Bates family, who are poor, while it is hard for Darcy to interact with anyone outside of his circle, especially those “below” him. When we are first introduced to Darcy, he says: “…there is not another woman in the room, whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with”. In this scene, Darcy would be of the highest consequence because he is the wealthiest, and yet he does not interact with others and looks down on them, as well as insults them.
Mean Behavior
Emma insults Miss Bates in the scene at Box Hill and I do not dismiss her rudeness and insensitivity. Though she does not actually say, “I am sorry” to Miss Bates, she goes to her the day after and provides genuine interest in Miss Bates and Jane Fairfax. She is truly horrified of her actions towards Miss Bates. However, she should have outwardly apologized.
We should not ignore Emma’s rude comment, but we do need to remember that Darcy insults Elizabeth Bennet in the beginning of the book, saying: “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men”. He says this when she is within earshot, knowing fully well that she may be able to hear it (and she does hear it). When he first proposes to her, he insults her family and notes her inferiority: “His sense of her inferiority – of its being a degradation…”. In his letter, he further insults her family (though I do dislike Elizabeth’s mother and younger sisters, he puts partial blame on their standing in society).
Emma and Darcy’s Meddling
It can be easy to dislike Emma for meddling in Harriet Smith’s life. Emma knows she has influence over Harriet, a naïve girl who looks up to Emma because of her higher status, and Emma uses this to her advantage. Though Emma remains certain that Harriet should not marry Robert Martin, she decides to give up matchmaking when she realizes how horrible Mr. Elton is and how much it hurt Harriet. She at least recognizes the wrongness of her influence and recognizes her mistakes.
Just as Emma persuades Harriet not to marry Robert Martin, Mr. Darcy persuades Mr. Bingley not to marry Jane Bennet. Darcy has influence over Bingley, saying: “But Bingley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependence on my judgment than on his own. – To convince him…that he had deceived himself, was no very difficult point”. After Darcy explains why he persuaded Mr. Bingley not to propose to Jane, he says: “I cannot blame myself for having done thus much”, even though he admits he was perhaps wrong about Jane’s affection towards Bingley. He is not able to fully apologize for his actions.
The Double Standard
If Emma and Darcy are similar, then why should Emma be held accountable and Darcy should be forgiven? If anything, Darcy should be held more accountable as he is older than Emma. Emma is about 21 and Darcy is 28. Though 21 is an age where you should know better, the seven-year age difference is still noticeable at that point in life, and Darcy should therefore be more mature and aware of his actions.
There is an expectation for female characters to be “perfect” and for their flaws to be “charming” and nothing of much consequence, which is why the character of Emma is looked at with disdain. It is difficult for Emma to redeem herself in the eyes of the reader. However, male characters can be flawed and redeemed, like Mr. Darcy. Despite all the rude things he says, the reader, and Elizabeth Bennet, end up ignoring them and instead say he is “misunderstood” and that we were “prejudiced” towards him. How often have we seen the storyline where an obnoxious man actually has a “heart of gold”? How he can do a 180 and then be easily excused for his past actions? We have seen this too many times to count. This is portrayed in Emma with the character of Frank Churchill, who lied to everyone, was rude to his fiancé, and then forgiven by everyone. Mr. Knightley even says: “He has used everybody ill – and they are all delighted to forgive him”. This could be used to describe so many men in literature, theatre, film/television, etc.
The fact that Darcy’s behavior is excused, and Emma’s is not, all has to do with the double standard we hold between men and women. Men can be flawed; women must be perfect. Women are held accountable for their actions and mistakes and men are not. This is dangerous because it lets men off the hook for horrible actions, such as rape.
Character Growth & The Need to Reevaluate Darcy
Though Emma still has work to do by the end of the novel, she does grow and recognizes the wrongs of her past conduct, saying to Mr. Knightley: “I have very little to say for my own conduct”. I question whether Darcy will really grow or not. At the end of the novel, when he and Elizabeth are together and conversing with others, it reads:
“…though in the course of their [friends of Elizabeth] meetings she saw Mr. Darcy exposed to all the parading and obsequious civility of her husband. He bore it, however, with admirable calmness. He could even listen to Sir William Lucas, when he complimented him…and expressed his hopes of their all meeting frequently at St. James’, with very decent composure. If he did shrug his shoulders, it was not till Sir William was out of sight”.
The above description of Darcy’s behavior feels like it is talking about a child rather than a grown man. We should not be commending Darcy for acting like a decent human being, and yet we are, saying he bore it with “admirable calmness”. It makes me think of how we revere men for not being sexist, for asking for consent, for believing women, etc., when we should not be. We should not pat them on the back for being a good person.
After the above description of Darcy’s behavior, it reads:
“Elizabeth did all she could to shield him from the frequent notice of either, and was ever anxious to keep him to herself, and to those of her family with whom he might converse without mortification; and though the uncomfortable feelings arising from all this took from the season of courtship much of its pleasure, it added to the hope of the future…”.
To have to “shield” him from conversing with people and preventing him from being mortified is not something you should have to do for a grown man. I think Austen recognizes this, as she says that Elizabeth having to do this “took from the season of courtship much of its pleasure”. Elizabeth’s anxiousness over Darcy takes away from the enjoyment she should be feeling about her engagement. No one should have to worry about how their partner will behave in front of others. We need to sometimes worry how children will behave in public, but we should not be worrying about how adults will behave.
After reading Darcy’s letter, Elizabeth is ashamed of herself, saying she has acted despicably; however, though she was wrong in her judgment of Mr. Wickham, to judge Darcy on his words and actions is fair when his words and actions towards her and others were rude. As soon as Darcy insulted her appearance, Elizabeth had every right to dislike him and she should dislike him. Instead, she is shifting the blame from him to herself, which is all too common in society.
Closing
Mr. Darcy and his real-life counterparts need to be held accountable for their words and actions. I will be the first to admit that I find myself rooting for storylines with a “misunderstood man with a heart of gold”, whose poor actions I excuse. However, I do not want to do that anymore and we need to be realistic and call men out. In real life, these men would be toxic.
In my opinion, I do not think Darcy is a good partner. If a friend came to you and asked your opinion whether or not they should date someone who insulted their looks, what would you say? I hope you would tell them not to date them and I hope you would not date someone who insulted your looks. I think we need to reevaluate Mr. Darcy and men like Darcy.
Published August 17, 2020